Opinion Piece by Courtney Cirabisi
If you don’t wanna date someone because they use a wheelchair, you can seriously go jump off a building. Maybe you should try to get on my level before judging me…
Honestly, when I was younger I never really had too much trouble with having relationships. I think it has a lot to do with my outgoing personality, that and the fact that I never really acted like I had limits. People are going to be attracted to a person who is high spirited and has that “I’m going to shoot for the stars” attitude. Whether you use a wheelchair or not, I think it’s safe to say most people find that outlook very appealing. I am 23 years old right now, at the age when most people are either mature, or they’re starting to, and once in awhile I’ll run into guys who make it clear that they are bothered by the fact that I’m not walking like the majority.
Truth be told, it did hurt at first. It made me feel sort of low, to think that someone I’m interested in, doesn’t see me the way they’d see a typical girl…but then….it hit me like a ton of bricks. Who are they to determine if I am capable of being a good lover? Whoever said if you’re not standing up, that you don’t have as good of a heart as one who is completely able bodied? I have no idea who started all of this, but I do know that I will continue to voice that it is absolute bogus. No way am I about to paint these words into my heart, “Hi, my name’s Courtney and I don’t walk so that means I wouldn’t be able to be a good girlfriend”. Heck no. If anything, I will say, “I’m Courtney and I don’t need the ability to walk to impress a guy. I’m enough by just being me”.
If this has happened to you, perhaps you have felt or currently feel defeated. You look in the mirror and wonder, “why me?” “Why am I not enough?” Erase that train of that, right now. It’s a blessing, not a curse… Think about it… The guys, or girls, who show romantic interest in you, obviously are not going to be shallow. Who has time for shallow people? Not me. When a person is involved with someone who as I’d like to say, rolls with life, it’s very clear that they are interested in far more than just what you have to offer on the outside. Let that sink in. How awesome is that? I personally feel, if I were able to walk one day, or if I’d of never needed a wheelchair in the first place, maybe guys would be using me. Maybe they’d be sticking around because they want me for a physical reason and physical reason only.
That’s not a relationship. It’s a waste of time. For awhile now, I’ve felt that using a wheelchair has given me a filtering system in the dating world. Sort of helps me to weed out the douche bags faster than I would have otherwise. You want to date me? You’re falling for me? You must not be a judgmental person, and I think that’s a beautiful way to go about living life.
Courtney Cirabisi is a 23 year old who lives in Midland, Michigan. She became reliant on a wheelchair for everyday mobility after she was child abused by her dad back in 1993, resulting with a spinal cord injury. She’s big on writing, acting, video editing and thrives on showing people that life doesn’t stop when you aren’t walking. Courtney knows that the mind is the most important thing a person can have, and with that knowledge she is able to confidently go about living her day to day life. She is currently working on a memoir about her life and hopes to have it out on shelves one day.
Courtney’s YouTube Video links:
Playing pool at the bar, going all out and not caring what others think 🙂
How to push a shopping cart if you are in a wheelchair
If you became disabled and your spouse left you..